Realizing this changed my life (2023)




Realizing that I'm, not smart was probably one of the best things that happened to me.

So smart is a subjective term.

But if we look at a bell curve, most people are going to fall within the average territory.

And you might ask, why am I talking about this it's? Because I really believe that realizing this really transformed my work ethic and my entire outlook on life, but let me explain how I got to this point.

So when I was a kid, my dad would constantly tell me these stories about how he wasn't smart, but he was dedicated and anything in life.

He wanted to achieve.

He knew that if he put in the hours and the time he could do it, but I would always hear that and just kind of roll my eyes because for me, I didn't want to hear that I didn't want to work hard.

I wanted to be able to do as little work as possible and still get good grades in my test.

So that I could spend all my time playing video games or whatever.

So I went to a very particular high school known specifically for its academics.

This was definitely not your like run-of-the-mill high school.

So there's about 500 people in the senior class.

And the majority of the class is just like, ridiculously smart, most of the class would end up in like top colleges across america.

And I remember I would always be confused watching movies like mean, girls or whatever where high schools were separated into groups like the jocks, the cheerleaders.

Because instead everyone at my school was basically the same kind of person grouped up based on how smart they were.

So when I was in that high school, I was constantly surrounded by people that were smarter than me and I'm, not even talking about just in terms of test scores.

It was just very obvious and apparent just the level of intelligence.

Some of these people had I would study physics with my friends.

And some of them would just read over it in a few minutes and get the concept immediately.

Meanwhile, I'd be sitting over there rereading the concept for hours without getting it.

So growing up in a community like this and with friends, like this you'll develop one of two mindsets, the first one being damn, my friends are so smart I'm gonna have to work so much harder to be like them or the second one.

Damn, my friends are so smart.

I can't be that far off from them.

I was definitely the latter the hard part came when I tried to mimic their behavior.

So when you're around people that have just a really high level of intelligence, they don't really act like people at other high schools.

Some of my friends would just study like 20 minutes before a test, and they get perfect scores.

Meanwhile, I try to do the same thing and I get like a c or like I fail to test for the longest time, even though I tried to mimic what my friends were doing.

I just couldn't achieve the same results.

But I always deluded myself into thinking that it wasn't because I wasn't smart, it was because I didn't try hard enough.

And if I did actually try, I would be on their same level for sure so about two and a half years out of college.

I was working in a startup, and I wasn't really happy about my position.

I really wanted a new job, but I would do interviews, and I would completely bond them because of the problems I had mentioned before I've done poorly in a lot of interviews in my life.

One sticks out specifically because I didn't even try.

This was a job that I really really wanted.

I was told by the recruiters to focus on javascript fundamentals.

And I probably wouldn't even be asked any actual coding questions, and I would do great.

If I just studied the concepts overall, I decided you know what this is going to be easy.

I have plenty of time to study and a few hours in the weekend should be good enough.

So I scheduled the interview on a monday morning.

So I would be able to study all weekend, and I ended up literally waiting until the last second.

I woke up at 6, a.m two hours before the interview to do my first bits of studying, can you guess how it went when I got the detailed feedback from my recruiter, his list of feedback was so long and so extensive and detailed? I must have been one of the worst candidates he ever interviewed.

And I just remember sitting there, right after the interview unhappy about my performance unhappy about the job I was currently at and unhappy about my future job, prospects.

And more importantly, I was just angry for letting myself put in such little effort into this whole thing.

And realizing that in the past 10 years, I hadn't changed my mindset at all my past self, always thought that when I was older, I was gonna try harder and then I'll be able to look back at all my high school years as kind of like a formative period, but would my past self be happy with my future self.

If they saw that, I was making the exact same mistakes.

It was definitely one of those moments where I realized nothing changes in life unless you make the change.

So you might ask what did thinking that I was smart have to do with any of this well for a long time, one of my biggest problems was that I wouldn't take other people's advice that seriously I would just assume that they didn't know what they were talking about and that their advice wouldn't apply to, you know, because I was smart, but failing all those interviews and coming to a point where I was getting well into my 20s really made me realize damn.

I don't think I'm, that's, smart and being lazy, isn't, really an excuse either.

And realizing that anything you want if it's something worth achieving is going to take time pain and effort.

And then full circle.

I thought about that advice from my dad that I had been ignoring for all those years about how he wasn't smart and that he was just dedicated towards his craft that's.

When it all really clicked improvement in life is all about slow, incremental change.

And what I wanted most in my life at that point was to advance my career and hoping to pass interviews by studying for like 10 minutes before and hoping that they would ask a question that I already studied before was completely crazy and unsustainable.


I wanted in my life.

I had to actively point it out as a problem and figure out how to fix it.

So from my lack of social and interpersonal skills, I started to read books for my goal of getting into a large tech company.

I started to plan out a schedule of how I would study for these technical interviews and get into the companies.

And I went online and looked for research from other people who had went with the same process.

So I could follow their mistakes and their techniques, and I would never ignore advice because I thought I was smarter than other people because chances are I wasn't.


When you realize you need to change your life? ›

There are seven warning signs you must make a significant life change. You think about the past a lot, your actions don't meet your words, your relationships feel superficial, you feel numb, and you fear the unknown or what others will say. You compare yourself to others and feel like you are settling and not growing.

What is the one thing that will change my life? ›

Change your job

The only thing preventing you finding something that you'll enjoy more is you. If only people could put as much energy into finding a new job as they do into moaning about it, then they could make a major change to their lives.

What are examples of life changes? ›

Examples: The death of a family member or divorce or separation. The birth of a child or return of another child. Son or daughter leaving or returning to jail, school, or other institution. A child being permanently removed from a parent.

How do you feel change in your life? ›

Change your routine.

Just trying one new change to your routine at a time can create progress. It can take a little time—66 days on average—for new habits to become second nature. Making even the smallest changes to your daily routine can help you feel less bored with life.

What is the purpose of my life? ›

For some people, purpose is connected to vocation—meaningful, satisfying work. For others, their purpose lies in their responsibilities to their family or friends. Others seek meaning through spirituality or religious beliefs. Some people may find their purpose clearly expressed in all these aspects of life.

Why is it important to change your life? ›

Change allows you to see what's important to you.

By embracing change, you are able to see what is important to you. This can be anything from relationships to your career path. Change can help you become more focused in your life and know what you want out of it.

What are the biggest changes in life? ›

Life changes like divorce, death of a loved one or loss of a job, can throw us for a loop. But so can happier events like getting married or starting a new job. Significant life changes of any type can be challenging to navigate as we move forward into the unknown.

What is the most positive change you have experience in your life? ›

Answer: “A positive change in my life has been my ability to be more confident in my own abilities and decisions. I used to doubt myself a lot, but through experience and learning from my mistakes, I have developed more self-assurance and am able to make decisions with conviction.”

What are the three major changes in your life? ›

Some of the commonly experienced types of huge change, sudden change, or significant kind of changes we go through are the onset of puberty, graduation from high school or college, marriage, the birth of a child, death, losing love, and more.

What is a feeling of change? ›

It can be a positive or negative experience, expected or unexpected. Change happens and there are so many emotions that come along with it. Change can be exciting and happy for many people, while many others find it overwhelming and frightening. Children, especially, can have a hard time managing change in their lives.

How do you know if your life is about to change? ›

7 signs your life is about to change
  • 01/8These are the signs. ...
  • 02/8Strong feeling of uncertainty. ...
  • 03/8Increased levels of stress. ...
  • 04/8A shift in your priorities. ...
  • 05/8Changes in your relationships. ...
  • 06/8Feeling stuck or stagnant. ...
  • 07/8A sense of anticipation. ...
  • 08/8Intuition or gut feeling.
Mar 21, 2023

Am I too old to change my life? ›

Yes! You can change your life at any age, but it rarely happens overnight. With some planning and self-awareness, you absolutely can make significant changes. There's no limit to how much you can grow, learn, and become a better person.

Why do I struggle to change my life? ›

One of the most fundamental obstacles to change is a lack of clarity. Often, people feel like they want – or need – to change, but don't know where or in what direction. Alternatively, and much too frequently, people seek to change for the wrong reasons – or towards a goal by which they are not entirely convinced.

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Author: Jerrold Considine

Last Updated: 13/11/2023

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